Excuses, excuses

I'm good at pushing myself, good at challenging myself, good at exercising self-control. But recently, I've discovered I'm also really good at excuses.

I've had a lot going on lately - I've been sick; I've been making some major life decisions; I've been stressed about money; I've been worrying about family, friends, and strangers down in Christchurch; and I haven't been getting enough sleep. That hasn't left me with a whole lot in reserve to fight those moments of dietary weakness. And so I haven't.

Instead, I've justified the choices I've made. I've told myself that it's ok because I normally eat so well, that it's ok because it's a special occasion, that it's ok because I'm celebrating, that it's ok because I'm tired, or stressed, or down...the list goes on. And so I've eaten a dessert here, some chocolate there; an icecream with a friend, a piece of birthday cake with Mum. And I've felt justified in doing so. For a few minutes.

But then I just become more tired, more sick, and in more of a low mood...and I feel like I've let myself down.

Of all the excuses I come up with, my favourite one seems to be "I deserve this". Deserve what? To be more sick and more tired than I already was? I might have convinced myself I was being kind to myself, but I wasn't. Not at all. So now I'm going to start.

It's time for the excuses to stop.

I've been meaning to put this recipe up for a while, but I've been too busy, too tired, too...you get the idea....

Roast Pumpkin and Bacon Soup

1 butternut pumpkin, chopped and roasted
1 whole garlic, roasted
2 onions, roasted
Olive oil
350g bacon
Butter (measure if Zoning)
3 carrots
2 red chilis, chopped
A few lumps of fresh ginger
Salt & pepper
Thai basil leaves

Roast the pumpkin, garlic, and onions in olive oil and a bit of salt.

Chop the bacon into small pieces. Melt the butter in a large saucepan, then add the bacon, and the roasted onion and garlic (peeled).

Add chopped carrots, roast pumpkin, chilis and ginger. Top up with enough water to cook everything in (probably so the level's about 1/2 to 3/4 of the way up all the vegetables, but you might need to add more as you go). Season with salt and pepper. Cook until all the vegetables are soft, then add some fresh thai basil (or you could probably use standard basil) and cook for a little longer.

Blend with a stick blender (you might need to add more water).

Serve with a spoonful of sour cream & some chopped fresh thai basil sprinkled on top.

According to Bear, this is the best thing I've ever cooked for him. Not bad for something that was thrown together to use up some pumpkin we had in the fridge!

Inspiration. Where do you get yours from?

Inspiration.  It fuels my creativity. It motivates me to be the best version of myself. It drives me.

At CrossFit, I get inspiration from the people around me. The CrossFit women, who I aspire to be as strong as, as committed as, as driven as. Bear, who pushes himself to be better every single time. The personal battles that each individual fights when they push through a WoD. So I utilise this; I channel this. I watch the more experienced CrossFit women in their workouts and in competition; I workout behind Bear where possible, because his efforts inspire my efforts; and I remind myself of the battles that others are fighting, when I feel like my one is just too hard.

In life, I am inspired by my friends and my family. My father, who has battled back from serious illness and major heart surgery; who now enjoys all the activities he used to before his illness. My mother, who carries on like a trooper, supporting us through all our crises; who, at almost 61, is still prepared to give water-skiing a go, and now even CrossFit; and who is a demon in the kitchen. My gorgeous aunt and cousins, who still grieve their husband/father but have found a way to carry on and find happiness in life. My grandparents, who have experienced so many trials and still remain strong, independent, and committed to their family. My friend, who has battled cancer three times, and still faces life head-on, positive and motivated. Bear, who has had 18 months of battles, yet constantly amazes me by his self-awareness, his concern for others, and his strength. I could keep going – the list is endless – but you get the idea…

In the kitchen, I am inspired by recipes I find on the net or in recipe books; by my Cuisine magazines (generously gifted to me by my brothers); by meals eaten out at restaurants or at friends’ places; and by dishes that my Mum makes.

This recipe was inspired by the homemade tomato sauce that Mum used to make. I remember going out to the ‘countryside’ to get the tomatoes, the big preserving pot bubbling away on the stove, and the incredible smell wafting through the house. I remember pouring the sauce out onto the newsprint paper that Friday night fish and chips came wrapped in. I remember the tomato-shaped container that it was always kept in. And I remember the family time that was associated with it.

Obviously I don’t really eat fish and chips anymore, but nothing beats a tasty tomato-based sauce. I especially like hickory sauce. So I have tried to adapt Mum’s original recipe to incorporate primal eating and a smoked hickory flavour…

Hils’ Smokin’ Hickory Sauce

2kg tomatoes*

500ml red wine vinegar

40g rock salt

½ tsp cayenne pepper

2 cloves garlic

500g apples

3 large onions

3 tbsp liquid smoke

½ cup maple syrup (if you want to be strict paleo, you can leave this out, but maybe reduce the salt)

In a muslin bag:

            ½ tsp black peppercorns

            ½ tsp whole all spice

            15g whole cloves

            2 star anise

Cut tomatoes, apples & onions. Put all ingredients into a large saucepan. Boil 3 hours, stirring occasionally.

Use a stick blender or food processor to mix.

*Thanks to Nikki & Josh for the homegrown organic Roma tomatoes!

Inspiration. Where do you get yours from?